Welcome to Hell

Imagine being locked up in a cellar. Imagine screaming for help till your throat is hoarse, till you’re out of breath, till your tongue is dry and your inside feels like it’s on fire, a fire that will consume you forever. Imagine the cold dread settling inside your stomach, like making a home there, spreading its roots within you, wrapping it’s branches around your throat, tightening the knot with each passing second. Imagine scars on your skin, red, ugly marks burning holes, imprinting on your skin the mistakes you have made. Each mark a deeper shade of red taunting you, mocking you. Imagine your body withering away, the horror of watching yourself fall apart.

Imagine trying to reach out for sanity but crashing into walls fumbling in the dark. Imagine missing a step and falling in a basement, a hundred feet down not having the light to come back up. Imagine trying to find semblance but realizing you have gone too far deep to come out. Imagine living each moment burdened with uncertainty and failures. Imagine losing your ability to vocalize what you feel, succumbing to the cold around as you close our eyes as it is oh so much easier than to fight. Imagine knowing that the only way to survive is to stop running from the real you and letting it settle in your veins, in your blood, in your bones, in every inch and in every breadth of your life even when you know you will destroy yourself.

Now imagine waking up day after day and smiling for the world.

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