Didn’t I my Dear?

You were the best thing that could ever
Happen to someone torn and twisted like me
That was how I knew you will never stay
But I wanted to come closer to happiness
Even if it was temporary and distorted by me
We joked and laughed together like peas in a pod
I was swept in the moments of delight and hope
You held me when I cried over my nightmares
You cheered when I reached for my dreams
In hours spent with you I forgot who I was and
Learned how to smile without fear but something
Always painfully gnawed on the inside of my mind
Lurking around, scratching to let me know that
My kingdom was never meant to last forever
Just as the voices got louder you opened up
Saying you wanted a little more than just friendship
My heart slumped to my feet knowing it was time
Instead of butterflies I felt tiny rocks growing
But I gave you what you wanted like all the times
I treaded on water without knowing how to swim
You never intended to keep me from drowning
I should have never told you what went on in my head
But I jumped in the water anyway tired of the games
You played with such delight and absolute control
I came up gasping for air alone and just like that
You decided to become a figment of my imagination
Between us, I accepted and acknowledged what I felt
And knowing you were gone all I could think was
“I really fucked it up this time. Didn’t I, My dear”

Note: The last line in quotes is taken from the song of Mumford & Sons, “Little Lion Man”


11 thoughts on “Didn’t I my Dear?

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