Uncertainty

by barrira

Losing grasp on life slowly
Wasting away in uncertainty
The chaos inside my head
Grows with each passing
Day gripping the voice of
Sanity to silence it forever
Caught in a trap of a life
I didn’t want to be a part of
Wearing the mask of smile
Trying to keep it together
Seems to take too much of
My strength lately as I find
Myself more disorientated
The desire to escape this
Plastic life and breaking the
Chains of society’s dramas
Claws on my inside leaving
Raw bruises that burn my
Skin like a hot iron rod as
I watch in numbing horror
The unseen marks spreading
I let the wounds deepen for
At days the only thing that
Makes me feel real is the
Pain that surrounds me
I can hear the walls of my
Mind falling apart as dust
Begging me to fix things but
All I want to do is close my
Eyes and go back to a place
That exists only in the dark

42 thoughts on “Uncertainty”

  3. I feel the same my friend, though, the place might not be necessarily dark. It might appear dark, but when you choose to not wear masks and do whatever the fuck you want and in your ways, it is the best place for you.
    Take care, love! Love and hugs to you.

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  9. Silence seems more peaceful than the chaos of the people we are surrounded by, Dark seems more pleasant than the bright light. This is called accepting what we are going through. Accepting the uncertainty. And Barrira, we are doing it. Yet life is going on, we are still breathing.
    Much love ♥

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    1. That’s where true strength lies love, in moving on despite how things may seem. Finding a reason and courage to step forward and there is beauty in silence.
      Hugs
      B

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  10. Uncertainty is something we must all deal with for none of us is capable of telling the future. Decisions must be made daily, some of which, whether right or wrong, propel us forward or backward while Indecision causes stagnation.

    On the journey of this life I’ve been given, I’ve learned that uncertainty is not always a bad thing for once I place my life and faith in God to direct my path then whether or not I’m certain of anything is irrelevant – – God is in control and He will do what’s best for me in spite of my best efforts to do just that.

    I’m not saying I sit and lazily and idly do nothing. Instead, I press on, but trust that God will lead me for only HE knows the future – – of that I am certain ^_^

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    1. Agreed, that’s something we always have to live with. To think of it, if we had all of it sorted and known, we’d get bored of life 🙂
      I loved this, your faith. Indeed, God will do what’s best, it’s easy to lose way in dark times but it will eventually make sense 🙂
      Best
      B

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      1. Yes, life would certainly be boring and a bit dangerous with the knowledge of the future at our disposal. Things are already quite messed up as it is with us not knowing. Imaging if we knew and tried to control others by using that knowledge. Think sc-fi time-travel movies… Scary

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      2. oh goodness yes! humans will go on some ‘god knows which scary spree’ to change the future of others and destroy so much more in their hunger of power and greed.

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  12. Your words are sometimes just so relatable. The desire to break free from all these fake smiles can indeed be overwhelming. And that’s why, Barrira, you have your non-judging readers here. Who wish for your smiles, but all ears to listen to your amazing words when its hard to find 🙂
    I must say that this poem is so beautiful that I want to read it again and again, but still I would say that understand that you are already in darkness. And you have the option of spreading light here 🙂

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    1. Thanks Prateek 🙂 ah it’s you people who have turned this place into a home for me, a place where I can forget and move on from how the day went, the silent peaceful way to end the day before sleep ❤
      Nothing can mean more than making the slightest difference to anyone's life I can 🙂
      Best
      B

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      1. Haha I am glad, homie! xD
        And I must admit, writing our hearts out here is something most of us wait for throughout the day 🙂
        Also, you are doing a great job in doing what you intend to 🙂

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  14. Sometimes i’m in loss of words to express how I am feeling. Then I read your post & tell myself ‘Ah! that’s it.’ I feel in the same space as you.
    You write very well. Wish you brightness, cheer & all the luck.

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  15. Ah I’m so behind on your posts! I hope you are feeling ok, and the darkness isn’t overwhelming. If it helps at all, know that you’re most certainly not alone.

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    1. Oh my, your words just made me smile 🙂 really thank-you, this is so kind of you to say ❤ I'm better now, been ill and then some, too much on the plate for too long and you know it gets heavy lol. *sigh*
      Hopefully, long hibernation on weekend will at-least take the exhaustion away 🙂
      Much Love
      B

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      1. I’m happy you’re feeling better. =) Hopefully you’re able to give yourself a break to recover and rest too! Speaking of which, I really wish I could take like a month-long break away from everything and rethink life…………..If only..

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      2. Ouch, difficult days? Hang in there, life would be boring if we had our shit together all the time lol. That’s what I tell myself :$
        Love
        B

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      3. Haha difficult internal state that doesn’t have much to do with the outside world. Yes, at least it makes life interesting in some sense.. =p

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