Silver Linings

If you look hard enough
You will see the silver
Lining shimmering a little
Distance away and if you
Hang on till the right time
You can hold it in your
Grasp like a bird that was
Always yours and just
Lost its way along the path
It is in the darkest of night
A star shining so bright
And in the way she smiles
When you get back home
It’s in the pat on your back
That you got at work today
It’s in the warm arms around
Your neck of your 5 year old
But it vanishes when you
Close your eyes and all there
Is, is blackness stretched in
Perpetually all around you
You involuntary shiver under
The burden of your child’s
Wishes that you promised to
Fulfill for him and you feel
The cold in the darkness
Her hopeful eyes hauntingly
Find you even as you try to
Sleep silently reminding you
About how her eyes lighted up
At the sight of the blue house
The blankness takes away any
Silver linings you saw in day
The constant self loathing of
Failures follow you on the path
You blindly run and stumble
But the nightmare never ends
You keep running wanting to
Scream for help for them you
Keep trying but each day mixes
Into another in your mind as you
Like awake wondering how to
Be good enough for his people
A silent cry escapes your lips
You sit up desperate for escape
Choking under the pressure
Your breath falls short as you
Start seeing your silver lining
A glimpse that comes and goes
But you have seen it and that’s
Enough for you to madly reach
For the bottle of sleeping pills
To swallow till the stars gets
Brighter and the moon smaller