Body shaming Wars

I write this as I read another article trying to describe the perfect body size. In the age of social media, selfies and Instagram swallowing us up like a storm, every little thing is put under scrutiny, masses are experts on what’s right and the keyboard gods sit behind their screens hiding from the world passing judgments on all, without a thought of what the end result may be. Body shaming is the new internet trend, too fat, too thin, too short, too tall and an endless list of how we objectify and degrade human beings. As many titles are made in defence of body-types, just as many bullies keep picking on people and making fun of them.

It’s depressing and infuriating that even in this age, we are still stuck in the voids of our selfish desires of validating ourselves by bringing someone else down. The human capacity to ruin others like them knows no bounds, I don’t have to quote any examples, the internet is flooded with stories of people being bullied by strangers, people siting million miles away, why? Oh because the person doesn’t falls into the ‘right body type’ as per their criteria. The immense pressure to look good, to lose weight, to have the perfect body spreads like a fire destroying anything that tries to come in its way.

So I ask you, where are we headed with this? Don’t we have enough damaged people already? In this war of labeling bodies, what is that we wish to achieve? While we all rant and rave about freedom, we rip it apart from others and in process from ourselves too.

Freedom is tinted and shadowed under our delusional definitions that provide us the luxury of stepping on toes of others, self loathing is too much of a burden to live with, don’t do that to others. Let people be, let them breathe and live. It’s easier to be part of the crowd, it’s an endless struggle to be on the other side but next time before we point and laugh at others, let us take a minute and think, if it was us on the other side instead of them and maybe, just maybe, some of us will swallow our hateful words.


Eleutheromania: An intense and irresistible desire for freedom

Yesterday while I tried to browse through blogs here, I constantly kept getting this message across the page,”the content is prohibited for viewership from within Pakistan” and with an exasperated sigh I had to go dig the issue up only to find that for some security reasons WordPress has been temporarily banned. I was upset, confused and enraged and emotions exhaust me. They always did, I prefer being indifferent. It’s been over twelve hours and I still feel ‘wronged’. 

I’m not sure I understand how our censorship policies work here and I’m certain if I asked anybody, all I’d get is a shrug of shoulders or perhaps even a seething look from one of the oh-so-patriots, “it’s a matter of national security child, what’s wrong with you?!” so I thought I’d use whatever access I still have in my hands to TELL what’s bothering me so much for after all it’s just a site, right?

Wrong. This place isn’t just a site for me, in the few months that I have been here I have come across amazing people from across the globe, I have made friends from different countries and religions. It’s this place which defies boundaries for me, this place which states that there is nothing like the power of words and honesty that can connect people, to quote Tennessee Williams, “If the writing is honest it cannot be separated from the man who wrote it”  and I personally believe that we all leave ourselves, bit by bit, in words we write. If you look closely enough, you will find a hint of shadow of the person in the words they spill here for all to see.

What gnaws at me most is that I’m drained out by the policies and stands this country seems to have. We face a plethora of challenges, from basic human rights to national security issues, you name it and we have it. It’s depressing to see this home falling apart like the walls crumbling down around you as you watch with hopelessness and despair. What was once built on a dream has been butchered by it’s own people using the sharpest knives ensuring that the dream is shredded so badly that no one ever dares to dream again here.

This isn’t the first time they have banned a site, YouTube was banned back years ago because of the incompetence and failure of the government to be able to filter offensive content from viewing within the country, while the issue of what’s offensive and degrading for us is another debate altogether, what’s worse is that masses have to suffer for a handful of ignorant people. Again, from time to time we have had other sites (Twitter, Facebook etc) banned on the same grounds each time and now this WordPress has been banned too ‘temporarily’

My question remains though is how is this a solution to anything? Where is my freedom of speech? Why should I be denied my rights just because the higher ups want to bury the issues than resolve them? How long will we keep piling up problems instead of solving them? Of all the days today I feel eleutheromania clawing at me much more viciously than any other regular day, the irony of the situation is that today, 23rd of March, Pakistan resolution was passed, the decision that we wanted an independent country was cemented. The roots for our freedom were laid out in history today, 75 years ago. I rest my case.

Who am I?

At some point or another in our lives we all want to run away from our demons, our mistakes, our blood but most of all we want to run away from ourselves. We realize how much of our lives have been about what others wanted, smiling made mum happy, dad loved it when I fixed our lunch table and my brother gave me a high-five when I won the first basketball match. I didn’t want to smile, I hated that table and I never wanted to play basketball but it made them happy and I became someone I never wanted.

Series of accidents, mistakes and lies become your legacy. You can’t hurt them and your turn can wait. So you wait for that one day when you can open up and talk about yourself,  about who you’re and that day never comes. One day it’s a friend’s birthday,  next is your cousin’s wedding and you keep telling yourself to wait because you don’t want to hurt anyone. In process of making all happy and spreading smiles you lose yours’, you don’t know what your real laugh sounds like or how you got so bitter.

Every night you toss and turn and sleep with demons. The price of others happiness was ‘you’ but oh the irony you’re alone battling your monsters at midnight. It’s still not enough, people keep looking at you with weariness because they quietly wait for you to crash, perhaps they can see the cracks, you wonder. You sit and watch as they come and leave, and you keep picking up the leftover pieces and closing the doors, throwing away the keys.

You want to escape but there is none. You can’t escape from who you’re, a worn wrinkled page, brittle from corners. torn and twisted between many fingers over the years. Till the words on them are still visible you will continue spreading smiles until finally one day when someone erases them completely, you will find your escape.


We as humans will always be disappointed by ourselves by others, the degree of disappointment may differ depending on out attachment level to a certain object (thing/person) but at some point in life every object will disappoint you because it’s natural with our never ending desires and selfish needs. We simultaneously idolize and loathe people who seem to have their shit together who also secretly do the same because they see us just as we do them. Perfected masks and all that’s holy. Only when you get to really know someone the walls crumble and look..they’re just like you blood and flesh and brains and same gazillion expectations.

So normal,  never a thought of giving but always within our own realities and realms of receiving and thus constant disappointments. At the same as we grow as individuals we look back and realize such dumb fucks we were and still are and we keep trying to please ourselves and others, trying to look for some approval. Forgetting all along who we are is what makes us special and different cause everyone has got something in them but because we prefer masks we live in the constant webs of lies we have weaved for us and others.

The vicious cycle of lives we have constructed. How then is it that anyone has the audacity to look at other with fingers pointed when…we all are just same..specks of dust and delusions.