Senses

In this hustle bustle of life
Slow down a little to feel
All the things you ignore
As you rush through it all

Stop to see with your heart
The hope in the eyes of your
Child who you just gave a pat
He wants to make you proud
But you never have time and
He falls asleep each night
Waiting for his dad to be home

Did you listen with your mind
The unsaid words she pushed
Down her throat as you quickly
Gulped down your breakfast
Trying to be not late to work as
She waits for the birthday wish
She knows you always forget

Have you tried to smell the tears
Your aging mother quietly hides
Or you just find her old fashioned
Ignoring the voice telling you to
Stop hurting her before it’s too late
Making you wish you were a better
Son who was there for his mom

You can touch with your smile
The life of those children who
You generously donate to for
Better business image and profits
But have no time to even visit
And see those little children who
Just want to hug and thank-you

Look up and taste the air around you
Reminding you of fragility of life
As it holds blood of innocents and
Cries of the silenced victims who
Never got a chance to live their lives
The air holds finality of last moments
For countless souls whose time was up

So be thankful for the life as it may not
Be there tomorrow, so embrace and
Feel while you can for life isn’t eternal
Don’t wait till all you have is regrets

In search of an escape

Running for her life
Out of breath and seeing stars
Shrubs and branches scratch her skin
But she couldn’t care less
Drops of blood leave marks on ground
She refuses to slow down
Her foot twists on the uneven surface
She falls down and screams
Covering her mouth quickly
To keep her voice down as
she hears the footsteps getting closer
Her heart beat thumping in her ears
Her breath is ragged and her clothes are torn
Her mouth tastes like metal and acrid
The ankle bone jarringly twisted
Like a fish hook gone wrong
Dragging her body to rest against a tree trunk
She flinches as she hear them approach
Silent plea escapes her lips as she looks up
Hasn’t she suffered enough?

Perpetual Struggle

I feel it knocking somewhere at the back of my head, as always I can never pin point the exact location. Today is no different than any other day in my life, a defeated sigh escapes my lips as I try to concentrate on the pile of paper work in front of me. Maybe if I ignored it, the endless noise would leave me alone but it doesn’t. Like it never does and each day we play this game till I acknowledge the voice, the invisible part which I can’t get rid off. I’m not sure if I can ever be free of it now, for so long have we been together that I can’t tell myself apart from it.

I grimace involuntarily as the knocks turn to blows, and it travels from the back of my head to the crown. Within half an hour today, it’s almost unbearable now, I bite my lower lip hard enough to make it bleed and realizing that I’m surrounded by people I quickly grab a tissue paper to soothe my crimson lip. All I’ve been trying to do is distract myself and not give in to the one thing that will take away the noise. Slightly shaken I go back to my paper work and with a resolve start sorting things out. Barely an hour has gone by that my hands start to tremble and the words on the paper look like insects crawling, its grown and spread like a plague all the way to my forehead.

I stop doing everything and look up around me, everyone is busy with their work, taking this opportunity I close my eyes and inhale and exhale. I tell myself to keep breathing and keep my hands at the corner of the table to steady them while also praying that nobody notices my condition. God listens and doesn’t. I manage to keep my face devoid of expressions that may gave away what I’m going through but by now I feel like someone just jabbed a hot iron rod right through my skull and is pulling it out slowly to scar me forever, like it’s engraving its territory.

I make an effort to stand and clear my head as one last attempt but everything is a blur. I quickly sit back down and with trembling hands pull open the drawer, I know what I need and I blindly reach for my pills and gulp them down with water. It feels that time is endless as I wait for the impact, for the escape but I know the fight has just begun.


Note: Just a glimpse into the head of someone who struggles with vicious headaches daily and simultaneously has to justify the use of pills to people around her.

Pride

He was her star child
she knew it when he opened his eyes
black like an endless spiral
only she will fix him, only her
He stumbled on his words
She always clapped
He never finished his food
She always cheered
He crashed into walls
She always pushed
He had a crooked smile
She didn’t care
He cried for he was an accident
She haughtily showed him of
He begged to be let go off
She couldn’t give up her trophy
He wanted freedom
She wanted him in her leash
He screamed for help
She refused the doctors
He looked centuries beyond his age
She had never asked for help
He couldn’t take it anymore
She found his body