Uncertainty

Losing grasp on life slowly
Wasting away in uncertainty
The chaos inside my head
Grows with each passing
Day gripping the voice of
Sanity to silence it forever
Caught in a trap of a life
I didn’t want to be a part of
Wearing the mask of smile
Trying to keep it together
Seems to take too much of
My strength lately as I find
Myself more disorientated
The desire to escape this
Plastic life and breaking the
Chains of society’s dramas
Claws on my inside leaving
Raw bruises that burn my
Skin like a hot iron rod as
I watch in numbing horror
The unseen marks spreading
I let the wounds deepen for
At days the only thing that
Makes me feel real is the
Pain that surrounds me
I can hear the walls of my
Mind falling apart as dust
Begging me to fix things but
All I want to do is close my
Eyes and go back to a place
That exists only in the dark

On the edge

I feel every fiber of my being
Pulled in to a million directions
Stretched beyond my limit
I want to shatter my silence
Scream “enough” at top of my
Lungs till there is no breath left
Standing so close to the edge
All it will take is just one step
To end this struggle of fighting
Against my so called “life
Going down and down in to
An endless of abyss of darkness
Depression will embrace me
Completely happily as its own
Fighting it for too long has
Drained all the strength I had
Now I want to close my eyes
Rest forever in nothingness
As the idea of eternal void fills
Me I look down from the top
A shaky laugh escapes my
Throat and I take the plunge
Down and down I go in a
State of blankness where
I’m surrounded by white walls
Oh so white and so black they
Flash before my eyes like a
Mirror reflecting my life and
As I shiver involuntary I realize
It’s so cold down here just as
I had wanted “cold and dark
My hysterical laugh echoes

Of sloths and depression. .

He seeps into my life
Under my bones making home
The dull ache settles as dust on ground
In my veins insects crawl
A constant itch to tear at the skin
Like a predator savouring its kill
Inside the caves of my mind
The bricks are falling now
I can’t move, I know
The rain comes down hard
The thunder is extra loud today
The weather conspires with me
Hiding my sin, I smiled
Nothing ever gets done anyway
The way it should
Always late, always stumbling
Oh sweet surrender, I close my eyes
The eternal bliss of numbness
The moon will hold her secret
Forever