I met Happiness

We sat across each other
Sipping on a cup of tea I asked
Happiness where it was lost
It forcefully managed a smile
And barely whispered “I have
Lost my space, fading away in
This world tired of fighting all
The hate and anger people feed”
I sigh and ask softly if it would
Keep trying for my humanity’s sake
And others who desperately wanted
To see more moonlit sky and stars
More shiny eyes and kids running
Playing in fields and open spaces
It asks me why would I ask for
Such a thing don’t I see around
I gently hold its hands and smile
“Look around you there is still hope
There maybe few like me who want
Real happiness to dance across faces
To take away those tears from eyes
Those little kids who still can be
Protected and guided are our hope
Please embrace them gently and
Give them the best of yourself for
We must not give up on our kind
The fight for right must never end”
It looks back at me and shakes its
Head “Okay I will try to stay around
A little longer for those little kids
Who have a long way to go in this
And honest hard working people 
In this world of bumps and twists
You’re right we must fight together
Even if it takes sacrifices from us”
With that we share a knowing smile of
Promises and hopes knowing what
Will come our way but true living is
When we live for others honestly
Standing up against the evil no matter
What the future may hold for us



Note: This poem contains abusive language

The feeling is almost lethal tonight
A fire starts destroying all emotions
Taking up every empty space within
‘Bastard’ the dark clouds are raging
My hands tremble and the world spins
The body of a bloodied infant flashes
In front of my eyes mocking my soul
‘Assholes’ the glass shatters on the floor
The screams of a mother echo around
Tearing my heart like a hungry animal
‘Bitch’ I cringe as my knuckles crack
Tears of bruised five year old so clear
Like a vivid painting etched in my mind
Humanity is as rare as true happiness
‘Fuc*ers’ the floor decorates in crimson
His pleas to the butchers still resonate
The walls oddly remind me of coffins
3:00 a.m. regrets and despair drown me
The world looks so dark and burdened
With all the glorified tales that media
Shoves down our throats for profits
I wince unsure of the pain I go through
Tonight I bleed to strangle the voice of
My soul, gnawing at my skin pointing
How brutally self centered my life is



The sense of failing in your own eyes leaves an impact that slashes through you like shards of glasses permanently scarring you in ways you have nightmares about.  The harrowing feeling of watching your life falling apart in front of your own eyes and knowing that just as the sun sets eveyday, your life will also sink into darkness but unlike each day as the sun rises you will never see how the world looks from above the clouds.

Becoming somebody you never wanted and having all doors closed on your face, you are a mouse running in a dead-end maze where the cat will eventually catch up and tear you apart but to fool yourself, you run anyway. You run with every inch of your life even when your lungs are on fire.  But child,  didn’t anyone tell you that you can’t escape yourself?

Each day you fall deeper into the pit, judging yourself from how you smile,  the words you speak, the way your eyes tell lies, the perpetual cold surrounding your heart and the stranger you’re to everyone in your life. The only time you feel human is when you’re alone under the sky and you look up with a blank stare, searching for answers.  You want to lie down on the ground,  close your eyes and secretly hope that you won’t wake up this time when you go to the other side.

But it never ends, you fail yourself each day over and over in every possible way like a step child who can never make his parents happy. You question your existence and ask the one above what his plan is for you, no amount of begging grants you forgiveness.

This is your biggest punishment,  to live each day doubting yourself and stumbling and falling down the stairs. You can list a hundred ways you’re failing and struggling but darling we both know the truth. 

So you start to stop. You stop trying and you start letting life get its way.