I stand in front of the mirror today
Not recognizing my own reflection
I wonder how I managed to lose that
Only person who could have saved me
Losing myself midst the storm of lies
Fake smiles and layers of masks I wear
Playing games with those who cheat
Their way out victoriously throwing
Failures at me with their sinister smile
And I make a bouquet out of them so
That my defeats can mock me resting
So luxuriously at my study table along
With books that hold tales of those who
Walked in and out of my life to remind
Me that to be the woman who pushes
You to face the world and tears apart
The bubble you may live in has a price
You can’t be loved but you become
The 3 a.m person who will save lives
Silently and quietly you learn to do
Your part and let them walk away
when the time comes and you smile
Knowing this is how it always ends
I reach out to touch the person staring
From the mirror and a cold settles in
A desperate need to shut out the voices
And the silence breaks as the mirror falls
Looking down at the broken pieces tainted
With blood and a smile makes its way
On my face ‘perfect’ I think as I feel
Just as the pieces scattered on the floor

Raise your voice

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
When he pushed you
Hurling down the stairs

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
When he locked the door
And muffled your sound

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
When he threw you
And broke your bones

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
When he took your innocence
Without any regrets

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
When he walked out the door
Leaving you in puddle of blood

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
Because he was an animal
Disguised in clothes

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
Remember you’re beautiful
In an ugly world

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
You’re beautiful and worthy
Of the best things in life

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
You stood and fought bravely
And chose to live

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
your soul and heart shine
In darkest of times

Raise your voice
For it wasn’t your fault love
You broke the silence ensuring
Many were protected

Raise your voice
For “it wasn’t my fault love”
Repeat honey, over and over
Till you believe

If I could

If I could I would travel from
One book to another and watch
My favourite stories unfold in
Front of my eyes while I get drunk
On the enchanting scent of words
I would spend nights hiding in the
Most interesting chapters and observe
In delight how the characters coped
With changes and unexpected events
Of their life hoping to learn the same
I’ll pick magical words and weave
Dreams that I’ll wear before sleeping
So I’d know what it feels to wake up
With a smile and giggle with delight
I’ll crawl between paragraphs curling
Into a ball so I could hide from the world
I would sleep between blanket of words
Spilled on a pages protected from all
Harms and heart breaks that humans
So viciously cause in name of humanity
I’ll dissolve my very essence in to the
Half erased pages till I can find home

Giving up

Each day feels like a battle ground
Where you fight against yourself
Past mistakes try to tackle you down
The uncertain present blinds you to
Any successful road which lies ahead
You shake your head to clear thoughts
From taking over any sanity that’s left
While self doubts tighten the noose
The temptation to give in is alluring for
You as you lay down exhausted from
Bruises life has decorated on your body
On each turning of the road to every
Bridge you have crossed alone there
Have been barriers and traps set to
Make you give up and let the hollow
Demons take over to put an end to
The perennial chase game life created
You close your eyes and try to breathe
Choking when you fail to remember the
Last time your life had gone right and
A heavy realization fills you up entirely
You’ve run out of strength and hope
To keep resisting and so you let the
Demons devour you in a timeless
Sphere waiting for the clock to stop

I wait

You’re the first thought I still have
The last one I close my eyes with
The one that occupies my personal
Space as shadow refusing to go away
I pretend to go about with my life
Each day struggling to shut you out
My failures mocking me on how I
Lost what meant so much to me
Why did I make you permanent
When all this time all I was a thing
A temporary trophy you got bored of
Discarded when you got tired of it
Asking for more than it deserved
Even then I wait counting days for
The knock on the door, that one call
That text that never comes hoping
You’ll find your way back knowing
You took my heart when you walked
Away and I need it back like the trees
Need the air and the water to survive
I breathe slower and wither bit by bit
Silly girl, my mind tuts and frowns at
My inability to let go of what’s never
Coming back

Silent promises

She sits down next to him on the bench
They both quietly watch the leaves falling
Of the tree like shedding its burdens away
Unaware of the cold breeze around her
Her hands play with invisible specks
On her worn out favorite leather jeans
She feels the cold dissipate suddenly and
She knows he has moved closer to her
Without a word exchanged in the stillness
A supportive arm wraps itself around her
And she breaks down reminding him of
A ship without its captain which has lost
The only map to its destination somewhere
His heart feels like the building which
Has just been demolished forever
He slowly tightens his arms around her
Pulling her closer and quickly blinks
Away his tears knowing this wasn’t
The right time for him to speak out
He feels her moving closer to him as if
She wasn’t ready to face the world yet
He murmurs promises of finding him
To get her the answers she deserved
As his shirt absorbs her sobs and sorrows
He vows nobody will ever hurt her again

Midnight musing

As I sit under the open sky
With a foreign heart and eyes
That hold a demon inside
I watch the dark duvet above me
Decorated with little pearls
I feel it envelope me in it’s warmth
And take away all my worries
Those little adornments remind me
Of last minute chocolate sprinkles
On my coffee which gives it
The right amount of sweet and
Make my frown turn to smile
The grey spread all over me
Seem to hold so many secrets
That will forever stay safe
There is a stillness in the air that
Builds its pressure around me
As if it’s holding me in place
So that I may not fall or crash
Beneath the noise of the world
With the invisible forces watching over
The burdens I carry are lighter
And I can close my eyes knowing
I’m not alone fighting my battles

Life lessons

How unfortunate is human race
We plot to steal others happiness
To satisfy our monsters residing within
Selfishly we steal and back bite
Proudly we disrespect and demoralize
Stamping over the weak we forget
How fragile and mortal we are
A strong wind will tear us apart
Like sand particles we will float
A smashing wave will envelope us
And we will no longer exist
Yet we are blinded by our hunger
Our greed and desires to hurt
The thrill of controlling another human
Sweeter than mellifluous lips of a lover
Makes us forget the hell that waits
Wrapped up in everything we want
On the other side of life

The rain that never came

He watches from afar
Her eyes look alive today
As she hums and prepares her tea
Strong and no sugar, please
Her words find way to his lips
He feels a slight pang in his heart
but forces himself back to the present
He watches in disbelief and awe
As she glides across her room
He smiles and knows the reason
It’s raining! Lets go out!
Come on, for me?
Above the clouds rumble
Her laughter rings in his eyes
His heart stops for a minute
And his hand frantically reach out
As an apology escapes his lips
But he had pushed her too far
His vision blurs with regrets
The grey blanket above dissolves
And the sun comes out
Mocking him of his mistakes
The sun makes me sad
Even the weather was punishing him
A defeated sigh escapes his lips
He needed to see her smile
Without you there will be no rain
His eyes find her again in distance
A forlorn expression on her face
The tea cup forgotten on the windowpane
She waits for the rain that never came

In search of an escape

Running for her life
Out of breath and seeing stars
Shrubs and branches scratch her skin
But she couldn’t care less
Drops of blood leave marks on ground
She refuses to slow down
Her foot twists on the uneven surface
She falls down and screams
Covering her mouth quickly
To keep her voice down as
she hears the footsteps getting closer
Her heart beat thumping in her ears
Her breath is ragged and her clothes are torn
Her mouth tastes like metal and acrid
The ankle bone jarringly twisted
Like a fish hook gone wrong
Dragging her body to rest against a tree trunk
She flinches as she hear them approach
Silent plea escapes her lips as she looks up
Hasn’t she suffered enough?