Forgive yourself

Life hasn’t gone the way
You expected it to go and
There have been mistakes
You wish to erase forever
From your memory like
They never existed so that
moving on would be easy
So listen to the words that
I wish to convey tonight
Telling you that it’s okay
To make mistakes and life
Was never meant to be easy
Perfection is nothing as we
All are flawed, hiding secrets
And mistakes we all regret
You are not alone in your
Battles against yourself at
Midnight as the world sleeps
Forgive yourself and move on
For that’s the first step towards
Making things right for yourself
No matter how deep the pit is
Believe and you will make it out
Just know that you aren’t alone
Each one of us have our baggage
Together we can help each other
To accept the past and open the
New door to life in hope of light

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Being lost

Walking an infinite road
With no end in near sight
Losing hope by the day
Road full of bumps and falls
So long now without a break
Wondering if there will ever
Be any relief from this battle
Against time I float like a
Nobody who has no idea how
To fix things gone so wrong
The darkness surrounds telling
Stories of horror and despair
Created by faults in this life
Choices that are nightmares
And people who are strangers
Being someone not understood
Who has tried and failed in her
Eyes that hold stories untold
And heart that desires escape
From the prison of life showing
That nothing seems to go right
In the ocean of blue misfortunes
Being Lost and sinking down
As a dead weight with no way out

Drowning

The world feels too heavy
To carry on my shoulders
Mixed with the weight of
Past mistakes haunting me
While I travel away to sleep
I can’t find myself anymore
Left behind bones and flesh
Slowly decaying in the cold
As I display another plastic
Smile and laugh with you all
Fitting in just perfectly as I
Should be with you all cause
Nothing is wrong as long as
I hold my smile and close my
Heart to keep everyone away
Nobody wants a broken glass
The truth no-one wants to
accept for it’s easier that way
And we like easy, don’t we all?
I want to close my eyes and
Reach out for something solid
Reliable but all there is thin air
Barely noticeable to my eyes
I ricochet between emotions
The inside of my brain roars
In anger and the hate leaves
Scars of collected misfortunes
Making me bite off my tongue
Tasting the blood like a razor
Smeared in splatter of it’s prey
So begins the endless battle
Of demons twisting my thoughts
Into ropes made of thorns put
Together through years of life
I have learned to despise with
A passion that burns the soul

Time travel

I wish I could travel back
In time to observe what
I did wrong to push you away
That moment where you
Flinched with the thought
Of me and decided to leave
So I could perhaps try to
Make amends to myself
Was I too blunt when I told
You that I was in love with
You and wanted us together?
Was it not good enough?
Perhaps I wasn’t too pretty
For I don’t doll up like those
Girls that surrounded you
Maybe I didn’t smile like
The rest and was too boring
With my desires of galaxies
And stars and universes
While your world was too far
From mine that you never
Let me in to so now I wonder
All the time about you and my
Unanswered questions haunt
me for I was never just enough
But even in my darkest season
My soul wishes happiness for you
But still I can’t help but think if I
Ever meant something to you
Do I cross your mind in silence
Like you do mine all the time?

Inside my head

There is a person who lives
Inside my head telling me
Stories over and over that
I want to erase from my mind
He starts by telling me about
Live Childhood nightmares
I lived through like running
In a circle with no way out
The times I was picked on
For I was the fat and quiet kid
Who was pushed and pulled
Because she had no way out
And the voice reminds me
Of how I used to hide in my
Room to shut out the screams
Hoping silently that the closer
Doors will stifle my suppressed
Sobs and if I tried even harder
I won’t hear what happened
On the other side of the door
A struggle ensues on the inside
I try to lock the past and throw
The key away to keep myself
From falling apart over and over
But giving up just as I always do
The voice cruelly laughs and
Throws another memory of time
I used to find solace in libraries
This whirlwind of thoughts wins
I hear the cracked walls crashing
A small plea barely escapes my lips
Before I’m swallowed by darkness