Fill me Up

Too little time and too much
To do as life runs out of control
Not waiting for me to catch up
At the darkest of hour as I stumble
The purple pills come in handy to
Keep me on my feet when slowing
Down isn’t an option and hours
Aren’t enough to find closures
And as I hear the distant bells of
Peace and happiness the world
Still spins as a bored whirlwind
That wants to tear the city down
I reach for the pink pills and it
Looks like I will survive to see
The stars another day of my
Granted life tied up with drugs
And the colors of pinks and blues
Running through my veins loudly
As if mocking how I live and yet
Not, for after all if not for the little
Secrets I swallow and plaster a
smile each day, I will not know
Darkness from light and life from
Hell that I choke by cheating on
The storms that try to rise within

Pills and Me

I’ve grown old with pain
As a part of me that has
Spread more viciously with
Each passing year of my
Life I can’t keep up with
The pace at most days to
Keep functioning it starts
Off with two pills and when
The world spins it’s time for
Another two that help me to
Put it to a light sleep till the
Monster wakes up completely
Lashing angrily at me for the
Deceitful act done against it
There is a war inside as my
My bones crash and clash
Causing me to wheeze and
Hopelessly try to keep myself
Calm but my hands tremble as
My vision blurs into an abyss
Any humanly action hurts now
Slowly I gulp down another
Three, relishing their taste
Hating what I’ve become
Falling in this trap created
By my own mistakes and
Life’s games it mercilessly
Likes to play with me day
After day and so I wither
Away silently waiting for an
Escape route knowing that
I was steadily getting near to
The end of the road which
Would have no open doors
For me but I refuse to leave
This road of self destruction
I willingly walk for it’s the only
Thing I can truly call mine