Enigma

The air seems to be telling
Tales carried from across
Worlds filled with questions
The clouds travel with secrets
You try to decipher in their
Shapes and sizes looking for
Answers you can’t find in life
The smoke rising afar drifting
Scattering into nothingness as
If it never existed reminding me
Of fragility of human life itself
How people disappear into voids
Like we had imagined them into
Existence just to dispel our misery
And how the homes we hold so
Close collapse under pressure as
If the safest place was never more
Than an illusion for peace and love
Our lives are an infinite stream of
Enigmas we all try to figure with
Hope that it will help us give some
Meaning to this puzzle of ‘life’

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People Dissapoint

On this stage full of actors
Each trying to outsmart the
Another by playing their
Parts with eased perfection
Under masks of murky
Gray characters that cloud
Over your view of the world
Making it appear as dark as
The white painted hospital
Walls and as dull as the beep
Of the heart wanting to sleep
People disappoint you in
Ways that make you wonder
Make you question yourself
How deceiving and deep those
Layers of skin were wrapped
Around their faces that you
Couldn’t tell real from fake
Ones, wishing to tear off the
Intimate cocoons they hide in
Peel of one plastic layer after
Another till the backstabbers
Knives can be seen and the
Lies can be put on display
For the world to know the
Ugliness people hide behind
The perfectly crafted smiles

Anarchy

Let’s create a little anarchy
Shall we?
Challenge the baseless system
Won’t you?
Question the so-called norms
Will you?
Wake up from the oppression
Why not?
Raise your voice against violence
Can’t you?
Spread message of peace for all
Would you?
Ease someone’s burdens today
Try to?
Encourage originality among others
Will you?
Use creativity to rebel in new ways
Tried to?
Create chaos through words
I dare you?
Crush the labels society creates
Join me?
Let’s make a difference today
Shall we?

Questions

What does it feels like dreaming?
Is it perhaps like a parallel life
Or a surreal version of our desires
I have never known

What does it feel like to not worry?
Is it perhaps like chocolates
Or thunderstorms on a sunny day
I’m starting to forget

What does it feel like to not struggle?
Is it perhaps a boring routine
Or happiness without an end
I’d like to know someday

What does it feel like to laugh freely?
Is it perhaps exhilarating
Or is it something unattainable
I wonder if anyone knows

What does it feels like to live your life?
Is it perhaps a privilege for a few
Or is it something not known
I wonder if you know?

Who are you?

Are you a tattered page of a book
Or a book unheard of by anyone
Who are you?

Are you an ocean of secrets
Or a sea filled with rage
What defines you?

Are you a mouth full of lies
Or a honest broken heart
What’s your smile?

Are you the morning sunshine
Or are you the night owl
When do you come alive?

Are you bucket full of hope
Or are you are a lost soul
What drives you?

Are you layered up in masks
Or painfully truthful to all
Does anyone knows you?

Are you alone in a crowd
Or have few loved ones
Why do you hide?

A night with the demon

Sleeping with the demons tonight
We create our own music in dark
I feel it taking over slowly spreading
Itself and I welcome the feeling of
Self loathing waiting for it to consume
Me completely till we are one and the
Same dissolving into a black hole
Moving into the void as one entity
The demon wraps its arms around
Me and I gasp in pain feeling an
Electric wave crushing my bones
My skin stretches and breaks apart
As the demon peels of my skin to
Remind me of my weaknesses I
Hide behind this smiling face hoping
Nobody would know the ugliness that
Lurks beneath the shadow mocking
Me of the fool I’m for thinking that
Nobody notices the facade I maintain
I drown under the taunting voices of
The demon enjoying the little games
Pulling at my heart strings and I feel
buried under a broken heart trashed
By a few loved lost visitors long gone
I know I must come back to the world
As I start slipping away in the abyss
I forcefully open my eyes in the dark
Sorrowfully embracing the present

Finding a reason

At the darkest corner of
The night she looks for
Answers up above and
Beyond asking her creator
The reason for which she
Has to endure suffering
Hoping that the stars will
Assemble into a structured
Design to spell out an answer
That will bring sense to this
Endless life that holds very
Little to offer to her now with
Each passing year she has
Become who she is not and
The disdain that crawls into
Her mind each night is painful
But she keeps going on for the
People who need her to survive
The answers must be right here
She desperately looks at the
Sky to tell her something that
could help make life bearable
But they offer nothing except
Silence and unease to a wavering
Heart that is frantic to find a
Reason to make life more than
Just a breathing exercise

What nightmares were made of

Part II of II


She was the calm before the storm
The ominous waves of destruction
The smoke filling up your lungs
Spreading and scarring your body
The hundred year old pale walls
With their paint chipping off and
Crumbling walls holding promises
Her voice reminds you of pain
Loaded on her tongue making you
Wince and step away in disgust
Her eyes seem to be filled with
Stories of regret and bruises you
Don’t want to waste your time on
She is a bag full of past mistakes
She has swallowed more lies than
Papers you can fill in a lifetime
Torn and twisted as her life was
She made one unforgivable mistake
She chose to fall in love with him
Her undoing was his perfection
Her end was in his silence for how
Could she ever reach for the stars
She was what nightmares are made of

Eleutheromania

Eleutheromania: An intense and irresistible desire for freedom

Yesterday while I tried to browse through blogs here, I constantly kept getting this message across the page,”the content is prohibited for viewership from within Pakistan” and with an exasperated sigh I had to go dig the issue up only to find that for some security reasons WordPress has been temporarily banned. I was upset, confused and enraged and emotions exhaust me. They always did, I prefer being indifferent. It’s been over twelve hours and I still feel ‘wronged’. 

I’m not sure I understand how our censorship policies work here and I’m certain if I asked anybody, all I’d get is a shrug of shoulders or perhaps even a seething look from one of the oh-so-patriots, “it’s a matter of national security child, what’s wrong with you?!” so I thought I’d use whatever access I still have in my hands to TELL what’s bothering me so much for after all it’s just a site, right?

Wrong. This place isn’t just a site for me, in the few months that I have been here I have come across amazing people from across the globe, I have made friends from different countries and religions. It’s this place which defies boundaries for me, this place which states that there is nothing like the power of words and honesty that can connect people, to quote Tennessee Williams, “If the writing is honest it cannot be separated from the man who wrote it”  and I personally believe that we all leave ourselves, bit by bit, in words we write. If you look closely enough, you will find a hint of shadow of the person in the words they spill here for all to see.

What gnaws at me most is that I’m drained out by the policies and stands this country seems to have. We face a plethora of challenges, from basic human rights to national security issues, you name it and we have it. It’s depressing to see this home falling apart like the walls crumbling down around you as you watch with hopelessness and despair. What was once built on a dream has been butchered by it’s own people using the sharpest knives ensuring that the dream is shredded so badly that no one ever dares to dream again here.

This isn’t the first time they have banned a site, YouTube was banned back years ago because of the incompetence and failure of the government to be able to filter offensive content from viewing within the country, while the issue of what’s offensive and degrading for us is another debate altogether, what’s worse is that masses have to suffer for a handful of ignorant people. Again, from time to time we have had other sites (Twitter, Facebook etc) banned on the same grounds each time and now this WordPress has been banned too ‘temporarily’

My question remains though is how is this a solution to anything? Where is my freedom of speech? Why should I be denied my rights just because the higher ups want to bury the issues than resolve them? How long will we keep piling up problems instead of solving them? Of all the days today I feel eleutheromania clawing at me much more viciously than any other regular day, the irony of the situation is that today, 23rd of March, Pakistan resolution was passed, the decision that we wanted an independent country was cemented. The roots for our freedom were laid out in history today, 75 years ago. I rest my case.

I question, do you?

Why does a woman have to
Justify when she steps out
Of the home to make a living?
I question, do you?

Why is it okay for a man to cheat
On his wife and gloat? And the
Woman should forgive it all
I question, do you?

Why do men have to hide their
Emotions behind cruelty and anger?
Being emotional is being less of a man
I question, do you?

How does a thirteen year old
Provoke a forty year old to rape?
And the world sleeps at night
I question, do you?

How is marriage mandatory for
A happy life one wants to have?
Why can’t you choose otherwise
I question, do you?

Which religion promotes killing of
Innocent in name of peace and hope?
Will this society ever rise above it
I question, do you?

When will we accept humans for
Who they are and stop labeling them?
Pushing them to point of suicides
I question, do you?


Note:  These issues are specifically pointed towards the society I’m part of and the fact how openly they’re practiced and nobody seems to be bothered by them.