Fill me Up

Too little time and too much
To do as life runs out of control
Not waiting for me to catch up
At the darkest of hour as I stumble
The purpleĀ pills come in handy to
Keep me on my feet when slowing
Down isn’t an option and hours
Aren’t enough to find closures
And as I hear the distant bells of
Peace and happiness the world
Still spins as a bored whirlwind
That wants to tear the city down
I reach for the pink pills and it
Looks like I will survive to see
The stars another day of my
Granted life tied up with drugs
And the colors of pinks and blues
Running through my veins loudly
As if mocking how I live and yet
Not, for after all if not for the little
Secrets I swallow and plaster a
smile each day, I will not know
Darkness from light and life from
Hell that I choke by cheating on
The storms that try to rise within

Perpetual Time

Waking up each morning
Feeling the same dread
Spreading and taking up
All empty spaces that
Reside under the bones
And with a heavy heart
Making my way to work
Wondering and praying
Silently that it would be
The last of my days there
But alas my mind knows
Better than to let my
Heart dwindle on its own
So it warns me to stop
Cutting off the voices and
Wishes that beat inside
Cringing mentally I go on
As I do each day with
Questions and self doubts
Ripping up my walls on
The inside of my soul
That one voice echoing
You will never escape
Weighs down on me like
A steel wall collapsing
My lungs to choke me
I manage a plastic smile
And survive the world
But as I make it back home
Fatigue overpowers my
Strength and shackles me
In its dark grey chains
Reminding me that this
Has not ended yet
Tomorrow will be just
Another day trapped in
This constant struggle of
Becoming a someone
Today is no different from
Yesterday or day before
In my world this endless
Abyss is my “perpetual time”