What Ifs

They say an empty mind
Is the devil’s play field or
Something abstract along
Those lines, I wonder as
I keep looking across the
Barren field stretched for
Miles with no end in sight
But I like to take theseĀ blind
Mind trips to feelĀ the wheels
Leaving marks on my skulls
As they fabricate stories
What if I had a better face
Would people notice me
And not my crippled leg as
They cringe away in sympathy
And disgust at the disfigured
Deformed mass sticking out
Of my knee with blue and red
Lines running along like art
A biter sweet smile on my face
What if I have had the surgery
And got a prosthetic leg instead
Would I have been less cynical
What if I hadn’t saved the child
That day leaving him in the
Middle of the road amidst traffic
‘You would still have the leg’, I
Hear the voice which I crash
With the violent shake of my
Head and try to breathe normally
What if I had died instead that
Day and with that thought the
Clouds get heavier, thunder roars
The world drowns in my sorrows

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Thunder and Rain

The rain pelts against the windows
Like it wanted to break in the house
Wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa
She watches this with an intensity
A strong desire to let the rain in
Perhaps it would wash away her sins
Her heart is barely beating tonight
Too burdened, too broken too lost
It has forgotten what its purpose was
Outside the thunder rages set free
From hands of who watches from above
Her eyes look up in hope of finding
Something to keep her monsters asleep
They reside within the deepest corner
Of her mind and they’ve been calling
A cold chill crawls from the heart
Spreading within slowly consuming
Every inch and curve as a man who
Finds water in desert after a week
Rain and clouds perform the orchestra
For her last moments just as she wanted
Her favorite ‘requiem’ that fits perfectly
She always had a thing for perfection
A dainty line hums its last words barely
Visible under all the marks hidden
Beneath the long sleeved blue sweater
The rain and clouds go quite outside
The silence has never felt louder