What Ifs

They say an empty mind
Is the devil’s play field or
Something abstract along
Those lines, I wonder as
I keep looking across the
Barren field stretched for
Miles with no end in sight
But I like to take these blind
Mind trips to feel the wheels
Leaving marks on my skulls
As they fabricate stories
What if I had a better face
Would people notice me
And not my crippled leg as
They cringe away in sympathy
And disgust at the disfigured
Deformed mass sticking out
Of my knee with blue and red
Lines running along like art
A biter sweet smile on my face
What if I have had the surgery
And got a prosthetic leg instead
Would I have been less cynical
What if I hadn’t saved the child
That day leaving him in the
Middle of the road amidst traffic
‘You would still have the leg’, I
Hear the voice which I crash
With the violent shake of my
Head and try to breathe normally
What if I had died instead that
Day and with that thought the
Clouds get heavier, thunder roars
The world drowns in my sorrows

Advertisements

Dead Words

So much of what we want
Goes unsaid between empty
Spaces making the distance
Longer than it needs to be
All the “I love yous’” swallowed
Too scared of rejection we let
The aching hollowness to grow
Inside our chest locking the words
We shut off the inner voice harshly
Our hearts burdened under weight
We choke and stumble around
Never an “I’m sorry” letting our
Pride win over relationships we
Keep losing people slowly till one
Day the road mirrors a graveyard
Thank yous” squashed under feet
We drive people away without
Realizing we are digging our holes
Only to wake up one day and be
Alone and numb from the inside
With regrets and what-ifs that tear
Us up by the burdens we carry
Till we pick a pen and bleed our
Hearts away letting the dead words
Out filling the voids and aches never
Heard before to let the world glimpse
The burdens of the silenced words
Hoping someone out there will act
Differently and live fully unlike us