On the edge

by barrira

I feel every fiber of my being
Pulled in to a million directions
Stretched beyond my limit
I want to shatter my silence
Scream “enough” at top of my
Lungs till there is no breath left
Standing so close to the edge
All it will take is just one step
To end this struggle of fighting
Against my so called “life”
Going down and down in to
An endless of abyss of darkness
Depression will embrace me
Completely happily as its own
Fighting it for too long has
Drained all the strength I had
Now I want to close my eyes
Rest forever in nothingness
As the idea of eternal void fills
Me I look down from the top
A shaky laugh escapes my
Throat and I take the plunge
Down and down I go in a
State of blankness where
I’m surrounded by white walls
Oh so white and so black they
Flash before my eyes like a
Mirror reflecting my life and
As I shiver involuntary I realize
It’s so cold down here just as
I had wanted “cold and dark”
My hysterical laugh echoes

29 thoughts on “On the edge”

      1. I understand, I have a 22 year old daughter who suffers from sever depression, it has been a long uphill battle for her, so hard but she keeps trying, good days and bad days, don’t give up, you are too precious to give up… are you able to get professionals help?

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      2. I’m sorry to hear about the pain you and your daughter have to go through. The struggle is definitely tiresome..
        No, Michelle been dealing with things on my own, managing so far but lets see 🙂

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      3. it is a very tiring struggle! don’t be afraid to ask for help, it can be very helpful. My daughter is now not on any drugs and is managing it by herself so I know it can be done, just so hard. my thoughts and heart are with you my dear friend. Michelle

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  2. My first husband suffered from depression and didn’t tell anyone. He eventually committed suicide. He left behind two daughters and now a beautiful grandson. While we believe he watches over us, we also think he regrets his decision to “take the plunge”. Keep writing. What you write is beautiful, though scary.

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    1. Oh yea depression does that to you, we could be living absolutely normal lives and be going through hell in mind. Depression is a funny scary void to be in.
      I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope he has found his peace *sigh*
      Thank-you, the words can be quite dark sometimes I know 🙂
      Much love

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  5. sometimes bad things happen to let us see the value of the moment to make us realize what really is important in our life ……you alone matters and the people who loves you truly .Look AROUND YOU DON’T MISS A THING WE ARE AT YOUR SIDE.
    WITH MUCH LOVE AND KISSES
    VIVIEN

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      1. look into the bright side if there’s no darkness we can’t appreciate the light there are always contrast in life so that we’ll know how to balance now….I’m talking to myself once again .
        Much love and blessings B

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  6. The compulsory phase of life, isn’t it?
    But everything gets fine. Today only I wrote a piece on giving us a chance and a day. Read ‘Another Day’ and in case you are feeling low and depressed, I bet you’d wear a smile and have faith in yourself 🙂

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  9. Great, now follow that laughter back up where you belong. I feel you, you express that feeling so well, it’s uncanny. Keep passing the open windows (cit. Hotel New Hampshire). Take care, come back out soon xx

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