Fill me Up

Too little time and too much
To do as life runs out of control
Not waiting for me to catch up
At the darkest of hour as I stumble
The purple pills come in handy to
Keep me on my feet when slowing
Down isn’t an option and hours
Aren’t enough to find closures
And as I hear the distant bells of
Peace and happiness the world
Still spins as a bored whirlwind
That wants to tear the city down
I reach for the pink pills and it
Looks like I will survive to see
The stars another day of my
Granted life tied up with drugs
And the colors of pinks and blues
Running through my veins loudly
As if mocking how I live and yet
Not, for after all if not for the little
Secrets I swallow and plaster a
smile each day, I will not know
Darkness from light and life from
Hell that I choke by cheating on
The storms that try to rise within

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She Still Remembers

She still remembers
His first birthday party
Which they celebrated
How he had fallen and
Was rushed to hospital

She still remembers
How despite his illness
He kept smiling and
Was at top of the class
Winning every battle

She still remembers
His laughter echoing
As he ran around the
House, his footsteps
Beating on the floor

She still remembers
The countless nights
They lost sleep as
The doctors tried to
Save their son’s life

She still remembers
Each day of the five
Years they spent with
Him in fear of time
Any moment being last

She still remembers
How he smiled one
Last time before he
Closed his eyes in
Her arms forever

She still remembers
Unable to move on
Everyday she leaves
A white rose on his
Grave, his favorite’s

Saying Goodbye

Sometimes it is for the best
When people need to leave
For their time is up and their
Clocks have stopped ticking
We have to let go even when
We want to do nothing but
Hold on to their hands not
Wanting them to disappear
For forcing their hearts to
Keep beating may cause pain
Such goodbyes run deep and
Painfully in our memories
Those we wish to hold on to
Yet let go of the scars etched
Being in a storm and hoping
It wont end cause when it’s
Over and winds settle, all that’s
Left behind is nothingness in
The air that weighs down on
Your heart like a demon

Prisoner

They’re again making fun of you
Their laughter bounces of wall
You try to turn walk away but
Are rudely thrown in the middle
They surround you like vultures
The closest one calls you a loser
Reminding you of your school
Another one joyfully points out
How lonely you are trapped within
You shut your eyes and ears tightly
Begging and pleading them to stop
They push harder enjoying the pain
Memories of childhood assault you
Tears trickle down your face but
All of them refuse to leave you alone
Your cries fall short on deaf ears
“Stop! Be strong and control them”
A voice screams inside your head
“Don’t be a prisoner to your thoughts
It shakes you up from the inside
“Fight back, don’t listen to the voices”
Failure the one nearest to you lashes
You wince and step back in horror
Desperately wanting to walk out of
The room shrinking by the minute
They know you are claustrophobic
And so they are playing this game
The walls are closing in and your
Body seems to have frozen in time
Eyes fixated on a spot on the wall
“Don’t do this to your self, fight!”
You shake your head violently and
Shut off the voice that had been
Asking you to fight back for your life

Twisted Lines

As I look down at my hands
I see twisted lines messed up
Telling tales of the past and
Hiding the future within them
I wonder what meaning they
Seem to be conveying to me
They take twists and turns like
A rocky road of life I have led
I trace my fingers gingerly on
One of hands and even feel a
Few bumps that only can be
Found if looked upon carefully
To an onlooker they are deceitful
Pretty at their best as abstract
But if somebody ever sat down
To read the stories hidden in lines
I wonder if they will cringe in pain
Or wince with pity at the horror
I’m startled to hear my own chuckle
The idea of anyone stopping by for
someone’s story feels oddly wrong

Forgive yourself

Life hasn’t gone the way
You expected it to go and
There have been mistakes
You wish to erase forever
From your memory like
They never existed so that
moving on would be easy
So listen to the words that
I wish to convey tonight
Telling you that it’s okay
To make mistakes and life
Was never meant to be easy
Perfection is nothing as we
All are flawed, hiding secrets
And mistakes we all regret
You are not alone in your
Battles against yourself at
Midnight as the world sleeps
Forgive yourself and move on
For that’s the first step towards
Making things right for yourself
No matter how deep the pit is
Believe and you will make it out
Just know that you aren’t alone
Each one of us have our baggage
Together we can help each other
To accept the past and open the
New door to life in hope of light

Rise Again

So life hasn’t been smooth lately
Or perhaps for a long time now
Success looks like a dream lost
In infinite horizons of uncertainty
But listen carefully to your voice
You aren’t meant to accept defeat

The world is no longer confined to
Your imagination, it’s real and brutal
Throwing you off balance completely
You spend days questioning yourself
Stop looking over the closed doors
You have the courage to face life

One day in the future you will look
Back wishing to tell yourself to not
Be scared for you will not just survive
You will be rise above adversaries
This is who you were meant to be
A strong human being with a soul

In the world where individuality dies
A little every day in the rat race
You stand out for you’re more human
Believe in yourself against all odds
Many will tell you to accept failures
But hanging on to life takes strength

Stand tall because quitting isn’t for you
But remember it will not always be rainbows
Faith and handwork is an uphill struggle
And there are those who believe in you
Who wish nothing but to see your success
Knowing you will rise again like a phoenix


Note: This goes out a friend, you know who you’re 🙂

Surround Yourself

Surround yourself with life
So much of it is wasted away
Look beyond the rat race you
Have joined brain washed by
The world believing that for a
Fulfilling life more is necessary
Constantly struggling to win
Surround yourself with music
Listen to the peace it brings to
The unease of your heart within
Your soul magically taking over
Like finding your way back home
Surround yourself with hope
So that you may find more reasons
To smile in this life slipping away a
Little with each minute of the clock
Even when you stumble hold on
Resilience will take you a long way
Surround yourself with love
All may fail but a warm hug will
Make you survive another day
At the lowest where all doors close
Those arms will make you survive

Wonders

This world keeps secrets
In every nook and corner
Only if we’d make time
From our busy routines
To listen to its whispers

This world holds together
Echoes of majestic mountains
And vast layers of seas
Roaring across the world
Stop and listen to them

The world glows with colors
Of endless trees and flowers
Shades of sky as a duvet
Telling infinite tales of love
Pay attention to designs

The world teaches lessons
Of never giving up in form
Of humans all around us
Each different from another
If we only had time to learn

The world speaks to us in
Rainbows and rains with
Music in the background
But we are too busy trying
To live the plastic lives

Subject

You picked her from a crowd
For no reason your eyes chose
Her to satisfy your hunger of
Destroying anything you felt was
Lost so began your experiment
And she became your lab-rat
You fed her smiles and jokes
She fell straight for it all glowing
And you silently watched taking
Notes and wanting to turn the
Knob a notch bit more for fun
She became a priority friend
Someone important who you
Now meant the world too perhaps
She’d do anything you asked
For you were her little world
She held scarily close to herself
Time for fun you glee wickedly
You told her how important she
Was and how beautiful she made
Your world by her mere presence
Another needle pricked she bled
She fell straight for you, didn’t she?
Like an ice cream melting under sun
You were her undoing, no escape
She was your favourite subject
But you wanted some excitement
A desire raged to destroy her forever
You crafted the trap with precision
She said those three little words
Perfect‘ you cut the rope and walked
You hid in darkness watching her
Searching for you crying begging
You to come back and she wanted
Nothing from you just your forgiveness
You watched silently with joy as her
Madness transcended to depression
Her sleepless nights of regrets
Blaming herself for everything
The eyes lost their shine slowly
The smile was replaced with creases
Self hate hidden under clothes as
She seemed to get smaller by the day
This was better than you had planned
The ending of this subject “naivety